Monday, June 23, 2014

One Year Later

When I sat down to write this post, I wasn't really sure what to say or how to start.

I always feel like I need to say something incredibly important & meaningful when these kind of posts come along. I mean, how often will I really get to talk about the first year of my life with my husband? It's daunting.

In the three years that Danny & I have been together (since April 15, 2011), we've been through some huge ups & downs. Our year apart was incredibly difficult, marked by my grandfather's passing & a variety of other emotional issues, including my work accident. When Danny moved to Oregon, I thought things would get better -- and in some ways they did.

Relationships are hard work though. Learning to live together -- and to love each other despite all the little annoying things -- takes a lot of work. The first year living together was just as tough as the year we spent apart, but for entirely different reasons. Some of them revolved around our relationship & some of them were environmental (crappy jobs, crappy feelings, crappy everything). 

I can easily say though: the day we got married was one of the best days of my life. It was in the midst of one of our toughest periods together (funny that!) and it took a lot of work to get to that day -- and to work our way away from it. Weddings put a lot of pressure on relationships. A lot of people expect a relationship to magically become a marriage the next day. Danny & I aren't fighters and we don't argue -- but we do both stew and stress and pace and snap. We can both be very tense.

But, like I said, relationships are hard & marriage doesn't work like that.

The first six months -- okay, eight months -- of being married were difficult. Yes, as difficult as our year apart. As difficult as our first year living together. But this time, it was mostly for external reasons. I became increasingly unhappy with my job, with my body, with everything. Of course that impacts everything else too.

The last three months have easily been the happiest we've ever been together -- except for maybe the first five months! It's funny how one thing that seemed so awful at the time (leaving my job with no new job waiting, spending three months unemployed) can be the start of a complete life overhaul. It was for the best though. Three months of uncertainty & worry has lead to my being vastly more happy -- and I know Danny is happier too.

Danny is absolutely my best friend in the world. He makes me laugh -- he makes me cry with laughter sometimes! I love his taste in movies. I love that we can talk about books and politics and cartoons and everything in between. I love that he thinks I'm still the prettiest girl in the world when I've washed off my make up and dabbed toothpaste and/or Neosporin on my break outs. I love how he has changed how I see the world. I love that he is consistently inconsistent -- always surprising me with something new. I love that he thinks I am the best cook in the world. I love our Friday pizza nights, Saturday morning coffee dates, and Sunday trips to Target. I love watching him play video games on the couch. I love him, period. 

One more time: relationships are hard work. There are definitely days where I want to drive away into my past, curl up in my childhood bed and not have any responsibility. But those days are getting fewer & farther between.

Despite how hard the last few years have been, I wouldn't change them for the world -- because I got to experience them with Danny. Throughout everything -- all the stress, all the outbursts, all the tears -- Danny has stayed beside me & still thinks I am the most beautiful person in the world. And he is the most kind, handsome, passionate, & intelligent person I've ever met.

I cannot believe it has been one year since Danny & I got married. I still remember how excited I was. How much I looked forward to walking through Disneyland with him. It has been a roller coaster of a year, but it was worth it -- because Danny is worth it, always.

Happy Anniversary, Danny. To many more!

1 comment:

  1. Lovely post :) I'm glad you're feeling happier. Your wedding day looks so beautiful, love your dress! x


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