Thursday, May 8, 2014

I Joined Weight Watchers

A few months ago, I read a book by Geneen Roth called Women, Food, & God that was about binge eating (compulsive eating) and finding a way to ground yourself & understand why you binge eat. An interesting part of the book is when Geneen talks about the different kinds of people who eat compulsively: there are Restricters and there are Indulgers. No one is in one set category, you can flip flop back and forth between them. There are also two different kinds of people who diet: there are people who like to be told exactly what to do and people who have trouble dealing with the rules and restrictions of diets. And of course, people can be a combination of both. 

Whenever I've tried to eat healthy, I've found myself thinking about the part of the book where Geneen Roth talks about these categories of people. In general, I find it really difficult to follow the rules and restrictions of diets if someone isn't telling me exactly what to do (or, um, doing it for me). I'm a binge eater of the highest magnitude: I can easily polish off a whole bag of chips, followed up by cookies or toast. I've been working on stopping my binge eating, but at the end of the day, I still have a lot of unhealthy eating habits that I try to mask with my healthier eating habits.

Two weeks ago, I realized that I don't have a single pair of pants or jeans that fit. Not even my former "fat pants" fit. I've been essentially living in leggings and the same sweaters and tops for a while, a little bit in denial. After leaving my job, I was sure I would stop gaining weight, but all the free time has made me bored... and I eat when I'm bored.

For years I've resisted joining Weight Watchers. I really thought it was possible to do it on my own, to make my own rules and follow them (which is how I prefer to do, um, everything). However, I've realized something really important: there are some areas of my life where I hate to do be told what to do, I hate to follow rules, and I hate feeling like I'm being stuffed into a series of expectations. Dieting is not one of those things! When it comes to what to eat, I need to have a lot of rules to follow and I need to have suggestions and to be told what to do. As a binge eater, it's just too easy to say, "Oh, it's FINE if I eat three more tortillas! REALLY" or I just do it.

If I'm paying to be part of a program, and I have all the rules in front of me, it just feels a lot easier.

I've done really well this first week. I wrote this post early (on Tuesday) so I haven't weighed in yet -- but I'd guess that I've lost at least two pounds already. I've struggled a few days (feeling munchy and sad and bored with my food options), but I think I'll get over that as time goes on.

I'm really excited to see where Weight Watchers can take me. I found out that my new boss is actually a lifetime Weight Watchers member and is really involved in WW, so I have a lot of support among my family and my new coworkers.

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