Friday, May 16, 2014

"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself"

Title quote is Ralph Waldo Emerson.


I have had a crazy few weeks. 

Three weeks ago, I accepted and started a job. A week in, I was offered another job -- one that I felt offered more opportunities for growth; it felt more stable and like a place I was more able to be myself. I accepted that job and quit the first job. The job I switched to is a job where I act as a trainer: I help to train other employees on social media and marketing tools provided by coprorate. 

A few days after starting that second job, I got an email from a company I'd interviewed with about five or six weeks before. They wanted to interview me for a different job within the company. I agreed to an interview and went in last Monday to talk to them. 

Instead of an interview, I was greeted with a job offer. That I accepted. This job is to act as a content monkey: I'll basically be filling in content in a program that this company builds and maintains. It is with a company that I have dreamed of working at for at least two years. Needless to say, accepting it was the obvious choice. Because both jobs are part-time, I'll be working two jobs at once... for the first time in my entire life. 

For almost three years, I struggled to get interviews; and when I did get interviews, they always ended in rejection. The only jobs where I made headway were for administrative and clerical positions -- jobs I found painfully boring. 

In the last month, I've gotten five -- 5!!! -- job offers. I had to turn down job offers

Sorry, let that sink in. 

Three years. Nothing. 

One month. Five job offers. 

Wow. 

Whenever I used to read posts like this, I always felt like the writer was bragging. Look at all my job offers, hahaha suck on THAT graduates!!! Now I realize that's not the case. 

I've worked really hard the last few years. I've really struggled with working jobs I didn't love (ok, hated) and feelings of rejection. I've struggled with weight gain and feeling abandoned and feeling like there just wasn't a place for me. The last three years have been hard. Not as hard as some people's life, but I've spent a lot of evenings crying, sad, moping around the house. 

After I left my job in February, I went through a few periods of intense fear: I was afraid I would never get a job I loved and that left me fulfilled. I worried I was going to be doomed to clerical work for the rest of my life. 

The past month has really validated me. I've realized how valuable my experience good. That I do appear talented to people. That I can convey myself in the right way. I just need the right opportunities. 

Ultimately, I want this post to serve as something really important: if you're still struggling, it can change. It might not be about you. It might just take time. The important thing is to not give up, to keep trying, even after hundreds of rejections. I remember feeling afraid that there was no place for me, nowhere that "needed" me. I felt like there was something wrong with me, something unlikeable, something that read as unmotivated, untalented, or stupid. Giving up wasn't an option, even when I really, really wanted to. 

My hard work has paid off. I cannot express how excited I am for this chapter in my life. It really feels like things are changing for the better. I feel appreciated. For the first time in a long time, I feel genuinely good about myself. And that's worth more than anything. 

2 comments:

  1. That's amazing! Brilliant that you got so many job offers! I'm starting a new job next week and I'm terrified that it'll be horrible :( But I had the same thing where I couldn't get a job for months then loads came along at once. You wait for a bus and they all come at once!
    hellomissjordan.blogspot.co.uk xx

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    1. Congrats on your new job! I know that feeling though -- I worked two jobs with truly horrible bosses and with each new job, I brace myself. I'm just so used to be anxious all the time at work! I'm sure it will go fine though. Good luck!

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